Germany-France, European Championship, semi-final. If the mere words don't get blood fizzing, brain pulsing and soul rushing, check yourself into the nearest mortuary: you might be an ex-person.

For all their 70% possession, Germany haven't really made a proper chance. So there's that.

Germany are cutting about the France half in motorised armchairs here. France are trying to hold their shape, but can't fill the spaces, and Kroos sends Kimmich away down the right. His cross is a goodun too, even if he had far too long to trap the ball and contemplate existential philosophy before putting it over. It was just too high for Muller, but Draxler was there behind him, stretching to control and almost finding his man. But Umtiti seized the opportunity to clear.

I wonder whether this game is in any way going how Deschamps thought it might. Germany were always going to keep the ball - that's what they do - and it doesn't much look as though he's instructed his team to get in amongst them. On the other hand, he can't have foreseen so little possession/.

Draxler sashays down the left and clips a long cross the back post where Ozil smashes across a shot that shoots off sideways. But Germany recycle possession and lay back to Schweinsteiger; he unfurls a curling, dipping rasper from 25 yards that Lloris tips over, though it was probably headed that way anyhow. The corner comes to nowt.

...and Payet curls it over the wall, to Neuer's right, but without sufficient power or direction to trouble him. He gathers the ball on his ear, flips it to his hamstring, beats 42 men and blasts home from the edge of the centre-circle. What a player!

Well, then, Sissoko is fouled 30 or so yards out, dead centre, and France have a freee-kick in, er, Payet territory. Payet, Pogba and Griezmann are all interested...

France cannot get a touch of the ball here. I'm not sure how much difference Kante would make - most of the damage is being done deeper than he tends to play - but Sissoko, Pogbas and Griezmann need to do more chasing.

Lovely from Kroos, whose change of pace takes him away form Pogba and to the edge of the box. Umtiti faces him up and throws himself in, and Pogba does likewise from the back. Neither of them get the ball, and Pogba snaffles a bit of ankle, but the ref sees nothing untoward.

Three hours of passing earsn Germany a corner down the left, the first of the game, and but Koscielny heads clear easily and France break through Sissoko, following a lovely touch by Griezmann. But when he tries to return the favour at the other end, he telegraphs his intention and Howedes intercepts.

France are now letting Germany have the ball in centrefield, which is allowing them to dictate the game. On the one hand, this is asking for it; on the other, they're not short of pace and invention on the break.

These last few minutes have been all Germany - they're compensating for their athletic inferiority by keeping possession with simple passes and lots of movement, then snapping into action with one or two aggressive moves.

Suddenly, things look very different! Hector goes down the left and stuns back a cross for Can - again, it's about shin height, so he focuses on keeping it down by bouncing a shot into the ground. Koscielny gets a touch, and as it rears up, Lloris shoves clear. But Germany pick up the loose ball, and Sagna needs to block Ozil off before France eventually get it clear.

Guided by Schweinsteiger, Germany knock it backwards, forwards and sidweays for a while, just trying to stay out of mither. But then a switch down the right sets Can chugging away, and he slides back a cross for Muller. It's about shin height, though, not one for a man in such severe need of a goal, and he doesn't get hold of it properly, guiding a shot wide.

Germany are struggling to get out at the moment - physically, they just cannot match France. But Ozil does beautifully to turn and slot a ball into Emre Can, who goes right to Kimmich. His cross is blocked into touch, and eventually they waste possession again.

Germany enjoy their first spell of sustained possession and Howedes is excited, spraying a long pass from centre to right looking for Kimmich; it flies into touch.

Let's all avoid making the obvious gag, shall we.

Oh, this is wondferful, Matuidi and Griezmann moving the ball from left to centre and a full 20 yards using a mixture of flicks and shorr passes, until they plot a path down the centre. But with the route to goal clear, Griezmann goes for placement, rolling a shot towards the bottom right, and Neuer saves comfortably enough.

Sagna, Sissoko and Griezmann triangulate down the right and Sissoko humps over over a ball seeking Payet at the back post. But it's in the air for long enough such that Kimmich can get himself under it, and he heads clear.

This is Schweinsteiger's 38th game in World Cup and European Championships, a record. You'd take it. However, if France can make this a quick game, he'll struggle to exert any influence. These days, he's the bloke you want coming on with 20 to go and a goal advantage.

Lovely from France as Griezmann picks up Can's dodgy header and spreads wide to Payet. He weebls inside then nips outside, totally diddling Kimmich, who gets back well to block the cross behind. The corner comes to nowt.

Immediately, Griezmann puts Howedes under pressure - he's forced into a tricky backpass that Neuer handles well.