Evening all and welcome to Tunisia v England!

I should note that in Volgograd, there are midges. The players have been shpritzing themselves accordingly, but perhaps that should be banned. These are the conditions, deal with them.

Does his mouth ever close?

Of course, the main reason there's no intra-squad rivalry is that the majority of them play for teams who aren't up to much.

Ferdinand, Lampard and Shearer are talking about club rivalries, and how that's hindered England in the past. Shearer doesn't think it did, though I'm not quite sure how he'd know given how little of his career he spent challenging for honours. Ferdinand does, though, also note that tactical rigidity and general under-performance was more of a problem.

Rio Ferdinand is the best pundit in football. Football is a simple game, so what the pros can add is insight to the mental side, and to what it's like playing with the best managers, with and against the best players, and on the biggest occasions. He - and Frank Lampard, Gary Neville and Jamie Carragher - supply that, but Ferdinand has a bit more charisma and childlike wonder at what he's seeing.

Which is not to say that they should've fired him - if those were the FA's standards, they ought never to have hired him. Except that those could never be the FA's standards because they do not respect them themselves.

BBC are showing a montage of previous England managers. Sam Allardyce's distress is one of my desert island discs.

Southgate also said that Tunisia will play five at the back. Fifa's website suggests to the contrary, depicting a 4-3-3, and if you can't trust Fifa, who can you trust?

Gareth Southgate sounds very relaxed, but I'll bet he's not. He reveals that it'll be him delivering the final rallying call. I'm sure it'll make all the difference.

"So, what do you think about that Daniel," I hear you chorus. Thusly:

I'd have been far more tempted to include Young on the right, instead of Trippier. Given his crossing is deemed important, he should be able to do it on the run, not after checking inside.

Maguire is a better passer than Cahill, but England already have Stones for that, I expect them to have plenty of corners, and Cahill is dynamite in the box.

I prefer Dier to Henderson, but if the upside of the latter is Alli in midfield, it's a compromise worth making.

Gareth Southgate had three decisions to make, and these are they: Ashley Young is at left-back, not Danny Rose; Harry Maguire is at centre-back, not Gary Cahiil; and Jordan Henderson is in midfield, not Eric Dier.

So, to the teams!

We are living in incredible times. I have been watching England as non-partisan but interested observer since 1986, and I cannot recall a single tournament to which build-up has been so positive and serene. But the succession of failures has dulled the thirst for controversy, Gareth Southgate has played the press like a fiddle for which he has hidden but glorious contempt, and for the first time in a long time - perhaps ever - England boast a coterie of young, stylish and brave players who truly represent the diversity of the country.

Now, though, it is time for the football. If England can play as they have prepared, all good. If they cannot, brace yourselves for the usual.