Evening all. We're all a bit dry with how BIG everything has to be nowadays, but there's no doubt about it: this is absolutely enormous. And I've not the slightest idea what's going to happen.

Anyway, thanks for your company - see you Tuesday!

That was a devastatingly awful game of association football, but we're nicely set up for Tuesday. Denmark will be disappointed not to have won but will know that if they can score at the Aviva, it'll probably be enough to take them to Russia. I'd have them as slight favourites - Ireland needed an away goal.

Full-time: Denmark 0-0 Ireland

Hendricks is coming off so tries to get as far away as possible, but eventually he has to go; Hourihane comes on.

This is easily the best part of the game. Eriksen's free-kick is headed away, Larsen races towards the loose ball, and shoots ... Christie has a wild swing, and sends it behind him for a corner which comes to nothing.

There shall be three added minutes.

Saaaaaaved Randolph! Larsen down the left, and what's this?! A decent cross! Poulsen is in the middle too, thumps a header goalwards, thinks he's scored .. but it's straight at Randolph, who tips over!

O'Dowda runs with it, Kvist hauls him down, free-kick Ireland, 45 yards from goal. Brady curls into the box, just what Denmark won't be expecting, Long flicks but from 12 yards, and Schmeichel saves easily.

Arter has cramp and is replaced by Whelan, whom everyone expected to replace the suspended Meyler.

They don't deserve it.

Brady picks the ball up in centrefield and jinks by a challenge or two, looking up to locate Long. But realising he's offside, instead he hammers a shot well over the bar because that's all we deserve.

The Fifa official is trying to placate Roy Keane; good luck mate.

Long wins a corner, the ref gives a goalkick, and Martin O'Neill does his nut because who doesn't want to see another ball welted into the box at no one in particular?

Kvist heaves into the box and by the by-line, Poulsen is up first, knocking down. No team-mate is arsed to get anywhere near him.

Is there a way both sides can fail to qualify?

Ireland win a free-kick. They decide to toss it into the box. Amazingly, it comes to nothing.

Brady takes a corner and the ubiquitous Bendtner leaps to clear. Denmark break, Arter pulls Kvist down, and the ref somehow refrains from flourishing the yellow that would mean a ban.

I'm already at home, but I want to go home.

Arter chases away with the ball and Bendtner gives chase - that is not a mistake - and accidentally treads on his leg. There's a shriek, but recovery is swift.

It's impossible to overstate how crap this game is.