Beckham to leave USA

Well, there's a clue in the picture, because Milan are close to a deal that will see him stay at the San Siro.

Beckham has started both of Milan's Serie A games since arriving on loan from LA Galaxy, and his performance level and commitment have pleasantly surprised coach Carlo Ancelotti.

Milan - no strangers to wringing every last drop of juice out of ancient players - are convinced that the 33-year-old Beckham has a couple of years left in him.

Goldenballs is delighted at being used as more than a bit-part player and has even started learning the language which, it seems, is more than he ever did at Real Madrid.

Becks is a free agent at the end of the MLS season in October, and a little persuasion, Silvio Berlusconi style, might see him released from his obligations in time to start the 2009-10 season in Milan.

Everton's desperate search for a striker has led them to Werder Bremen's Hugo Almeida.

The Portuguese, who does a nice line in Tevez-esque goal celebrations featuring children's dummies, said: "I am open to offers and am happy that Everton are interested in my services."

But across Stanley Park, Liverpool are planning to hijack the bid. You know, just to mess with the Toffees.

One rumour that, like R. Kelly, believes it can fly but actually can do no such thing, is Dirk Kuyt to Juventus for £28m.

Not only is it preposterous on every conceivable level, Kuyt's 'team' do not even know about Juve's interest.

Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp is promising to pick the weakest team he possibly can for tomorrow's FA Cup tie against Manchester United.

Whether that means he will put Giovani dos Santos in goal and Ben Alnwick up front remains to be seen, but this is one game no Spurs player wants to be involved in as selection represents a vote of no confidence from the increasingly irate gaffer.

Two of the first names on the team sheet will be Darren Bent and David Bentley, who may not be moping around much longer thanks to interest from Sunderland and Middlesbrough respectively.

Spurs are looking to recoup some of the £30m outlay on Jermain Defoe and Wilson Palacios, and could accept cut-price offers (that means just seven figures, bargain fans) for Bent and Bentley.

Having just trousered £14m for Craig Bellamy, West Ham are preparing to spend more than half of it on cosmopolitan Brescia striker Savio Nsereko, who was born in Uganda, has German nationality and plays in the Italian second division.

It seems like a lot of money for a player nobody has ever heard of, but Hammers technical director Gianluca Nani obviously likes what he sees.

West Ham hope to make an official announcement after tomorrow's embarrassing FA Cup exit at Hartlepool.

The Hammers have been told they will have fork out £8m if they want anything to do with Cardiff City's Joe Ledley.

Red Bull Salzburg striker Marc Janko has already scored 30 league goals this season, 45 in all competitions, which probably says more about the standard of Austrian football than it does about Janko.

Blackburn boss Sam Allardyce likes the Alpine Marco Negri , but not that much. He has lodged a final £6m bid.

Just a few weeks after being jeered by his own fans, Emmanuel Eboue is set for a new Arsenal contract after a bid from Atletico Madrid was rejected.

Portsmouth are set to make a final bid to bring Gary O'Neil back from Middlesbrough and believe that if £2.5m doesn't turn Steve Gibson's head, nothing will.

Hull have completed the permanent signing of defender Kamil Zayatte from Young Boys and hope to add Jimmy Bullard in the next few days. Stelios Giannakopoulos has left the KC Stadium and fled to Larissa.

And we couldn't leave without a Manchester City rumour - they are closing on a £10m deal for Newcastle's Shay Given.