Welcome to the opening day of the 2014/15 Premier League! It has been 34 long days since Mario Goetze's strike won the World Cup for Germany - and close season be damned - we are ready for more competitive football!

Hernandez rifles an easy chance wide but he's already been penalised for a tug on his marker.

And let the memes begin...

Ki and Januzaj are tearing at each other's clothes like young lovers in a secluded lay-by, and the referee decides the United man initiated the flirtation, so Swansea get the free-kick.

End to end stuff here as United charge down the left. Swansea are back in numbers.

Januzaj - who looked a little bit lost covering at full-back there - is on the right wing and earns a throw off Williams. United with a promising attack here but Swansea break it up and counter...

GOAL SWANSEA!! 1-0! KI WITH A LOW DRIVE! Sigurdsson picked him out on the edge of the box, a gaping hole in United's back three, with pretty much everyone out of position as Bony blocked Jones from getting across.

SHOULD HAVE BEEN 1-0! Well, could have been 1-0. Rooney heads the ball straight at Fabianski after a fine cross from Januzaj I think. The Manchester United skipper couldn't get any power on it.

Shelvey is booked for a foul but United's free-kick is cleared. Mata with the ball.

THE MAGIC SPRAY! WE HAVE THE MAGIC SPRAY! Its first use in professional football in England, 25 minutes into the new season.

Jones is caught late by Williams after racing down the right. Not another injury surely? No, he's all right and United have a free-kick on the edge of the box.

Poor Jesse Lingard. He was given a debut and he barely lasted a quarter of the match. Another highly-rated youngster, Adnan Januzaj, replaces him. Surely he won't play as a wingback? He's wearing Giggs' no.11 shirt too. No pressure kiddo.

Rooney feeds Hernandez down the right and he has a march on Sigurdsson, who clips him and the Mexican loses balance. Dean plays advantage initially but pulls play back when Hernandez hits the deck.

While Lingard is walked off - he clearly wants to continue - let's reflect on how gross that Ashley Young incident was. Ew.

Lingard still receiving treatment and it looks like he may not be able to continue... his knee.

Lingard goes down after a 50-50 with Williams... That was a cruncher.

The vine embedded below may not last long, but a dollop of spittle landed in Ashley Young's mouth while he was waiting to defend a free-kick. Presume it was accidental.

Rooney on a driving run but his shot-cross-chip fusion is blocked and Swansea go agricultural. You have to say that short-passing 'Swansealona' style is long gone now.

The United fans are having their customary dig at Liverpool as Swansea get a free kick - Sigurdsson swings it in but Blackett heads clear. Good defending.

Down the other end Rooney has a chance to test Fabianski, but he scuffs the shot and it's easy for the Pole. Fine pass from Mata in the build-up.

Swansea look a bit short up front without Michu who - after the club rejected big money bids last summer - spend most of the season injured and has been loaned to Napoli.

This probably counts as the first real chance, with returning hero Sigurdsson stinging the palms of De Gea with a fierce low drive.