Evening all. Football, sometimes you do spoil us. Just get a load of this: perhaps Europe's most exciting, innovative side, against Europe's defending champions, in Europe's most atmospheric ground, in the group stages. Alright then!

Really, the state of these teams. Dortmund's front five is spectacular - Ousmane Dembele is going to be one of the best players in the world, while Castro and Guerreiro are interesting types too. And the up front, Aubameyang might just be the world's next great centre-forward - and really, we deserve him to be.

Ho ho ho.

Madrid line up as follows; eee doesn't Keylor Navas look ard!

And subs...

Here, in least intelligible manner possible, is Dortmund's side. Hipstertastic!