'Our top scorer's at work' - We joined Soul Tower Hamlets, the FA Cup's lowest-ranked club, for their biggest day
Updated 03/09/2025 at 08:44 GMT+1
We're following the lowest-ranked team left in the Emirates FA Cup all the way to Wembley, passing the torch each round. First stop: Soul Tower Hamlets, ninth-tier newcomers from east London. With their top scorer at work, another on a stag do, and one away on international duty, the odds looked stacked against them in their biggest-ever match. But would that stop them from staging a Cupset?
Slot answers 20 Questions - including the best Liverpool player of all time...
Video credit: TNT Sports
"Our top scorer is missing. He has to work one in every four Saturdays, he’s a car and van salesman."
Throw in two other absentees - one away on international duty with Sri Lanka, the other, er, on a stag do in Tenerife - and it's hardly the perfect team news for the biggest match in your club's history.
But as I arrive at Mile End Stadium, home of Soul Tower Hamlets, the mood is anything but gloomy. Soul are the lowest-ranked side left in the Emirates FA Cup after two preliminary rounds, based on last season's standings, and that's why I'm here: to see if they can upset eighth-tier Ascot United and spark a run of their own.
I'm greeted by club chairman Tarik Bhai, who waves me inside with what amounts to an all-access pass - only the half-time team talk is off limits. "You don’t want to be in there anyway," joint-manager John Field grins as he welcomes me into the dressing room. I absolutely do, but I play along.
John and co-manager Terry Spillane are London cabbies, unbeaten since taking charge in the summer. For John, it’s a first crack at the Cup from the dugout; for Terry, it’s a chance to relive the run that took Redbridge, then of the eighth tier, all the way to the second round proper in 2011.
John dreams of Arsenal. Terry wants West Ham. Both know they’ll need to win four matches just to reach the first round, when sides from League One and League Two enter. Two more and the Premier League big boys join the pot.
"You could imagine how their faces would be if they walked out and saw that," says Terry, nodding at the pitch behind me. Naturally, I step across the athletics track for a look.
The pitch is... unique. It's a council-funded (or more likely, unfunded) field, with green and brown competing to be the dominant colour. The six-yard box at one end has a different altitude to the corner flags; the penalty spot - a bald, cracked mound of white paint - has presumably helped send many spot-kicks high towards the Canary Wharf skyline behind the goal.
I’m soon befriended by vice-chairman Dickie - one of just three season-ticket holders - who proudly recalls hacking down a young Kevin Phillips in the Cup years ago. "Still scored a hat-trick," he admits. Dickie suggests I keep an eye on Soul's number seven. As I soon discover, it's a good tip.
Back inside the dressing room, and the air is thick with Deep Heat, the official scent of amateur football. Two new lads balance precariously on the benches and belt out their initiation songs, one of them giving an unavoidably excellent rendition of Robbie Williams' Angels.
Then the music is cut and Terry dials up the intensity: "I’d rather play s*** and win 5-0 than play like Brazil and lose 1-0." Tactical notes are relayed from a mate who faced Ascot in the week. A phone rings mid-briefing. It's John's. That’ll be a fine.
"We’ve got a fella here from Sky or something," Terry says, pointing my way. "TNT," I reply too quickly, falling into the trap. The room erupts. Still, if the lads win, I'll add "inspired an FA Cup victory" to the CV.
Kick-off. I perch myself down in the solitary, unloved stand and briefly wonder if I could get a game at this level, despite my career highlight being the world's worst Panenka at Loftus Road. Needless to say, that fantasy was quickly killed off.
And then, lift-off. A Soul goal from that man, the number seven, Georgian winger Sherman Artmeladze, who celebrates by sprinting not to his team-mates but to kiss the club photographer. Luckily, she's also his wife. Play on.
By half-time, it’s 3-0 and Mile End is bouncing. In the gents, I can hear the Ascot dressing room through the wall; someone is going absolutely spare. I'm tempted to knock and offer my services - it can't get worse.
The second half drifts by, lit up by stand-in striker Joseph Gregory controlling absolutely everything and Sherman trying to recreate Zlatan's 30-yard overhead kick against England... and sending the ball awkwardly bouncing four yards to his left. Ascot grab one back, but Soul strike again in injury time to finish them off 4-1.
A good chunk of the 80 fans pour onto the pitch. It’s a Cupset. And more than that, it’s proof of what Soul Tower Hamlets stands for: a club rooted in its community, their ultimate mission to keep young people off the streets and away from knife crime.
Back in the dressing room, Gregory is man of the match after a debut to remember. He hoists the speaker above his head. Freed From Desire rattles off the yellow walls. The dream rolls on.
By Monday, the lads are back at their day jobs. The draw gives them Flackwell Heath, again from the division above, in the second qualifying round at home. Three wins away from the first round proper; five from a potential Premier League giant.
Realistically, Arsenal and West Ham are probably a dream too far. But for one August afternoon in Mile End, the FA Cup belonged to Soul Tower Hamlets. We’ll be there again on September 13 - before the torch passes to the next lowest-ranked team, all the way to Wembley.
- - -
Stream top football action, including the Emirates FA Cup, Premier League and UEFA Champions League, on TNT Sports and discovery+
Related Topics
Thoughts?
Advertisement
Advertisement