Football news - The Warm-Up: What is one step down from a farmer’s league?

Liverpool have a 22-point at the top of the Premier League. 22 points. Yea, they are good and all that but…22 points. Nah, not for the Warm-Up. Nope. That’s not a league that takes itself seriously. A league with a modicum of self-respect would not allow a team – any team – to open a 22-point advantage with 25 games of the season gone.

Anyway, Liverpool beat Southampton 4-0 to open said 22-point lead over Manchester City on Saturday before Tottenham beat the Citizens 2-0 a day later to ensure that the Reds maintained their mind-blowing gap.

The state of it. The old Division One would be turning in its grave were it not alive and well as the Championship.

Anyway, while the Premier League is without question a farmer’s league, it is also an entertaining old farmer’s league. The Tottenham-City game was utter mayhem. Complete, glorious chaos.

There was some VAR controversy. Yawn – it is guff – but also delightful. There was a saved penalty. Lovely. There was a bit of fighting. [Insert superlative]. There could have been a sending off for diving. [Insert superlative]. There was another bit of VAR controversy. [Insert another superlative]. There was a ludicrous goalmouth mess. [Insert superlative]. There was a sending off. [Insert superlative]. There was a debut biff. [insert superlative].

Basically, this farmer’s league is so bonkers that the Warm-Up has run out of superlatives. The standard of the Premier League is utterly guff – bar Liverpool – but it does produce some serious fun. It can definitely lay claim to being the best farmer’s league in the world. Chin up, Ligue 1.

Erling Haaland has scored seven goals in three games for Borussia Dortmund.

However, rather than get caught up in the emotion of all that goal nonsense, the Warm-Up decided to take a scientific look at whether Haaland was all that:

Conclusion: jury still out on whether he could do it on a cold night in Stoke. Ergo, jury still out. Sorry Erland, unless your league is operating at a temperature lower than that of the Premier Farmer’s League (or, in this case, the prospering Championship) you are a bit of a fraud.

Each and every time Sean Dyche faces Arsenal he comes out with that same old tripe. Arsenal players fall over.

So, after Arsenal played Burnley on Sunday, Sean Dyche came out with the same old tripe that Arsenal players like to fall over.

"It is lovely to watch when people are falling over, it is my favourite part," he said after full-time.

This is probably the least impressive one-man crusade since some TV 'personality' spent one half the year crowing about snowflakes and then followed that up by mourning, lamenting and wailing about a vegan sausage roll.

Wind it in, Sean. No one – not literally one solitary human being – gives two tosses about whether you think Arsenal players fall over or not. Like it or not, it is a part of the game. Get over it. Sitting deep and leathering the ball forward is also not to everyone’s liking but, you know, Burnley rely on that for their existence. Swings and roundabouts, yea.

Rugby is not football. And that point is fairly-well articulated here.

Jose Mourinho. Laugh out out out out out out out out loud (looooooool, for you generation zi-ers out there).

What is it they say about second chances?

Well, whatever it is, this guy didn’t heed said advice.

This is an important piece of writing from Daniel Taylor about the perils of labelling an injured player a crock.

Not much, truth be told. Unless, of course, Sampdoria against Napoli – in these parts known as the Top Kits Derby – tickles tour fancy.